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Date: 08.09.2017

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You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

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Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

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Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. If the enemy is within range, so are you. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Tracers work both ways. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Napalm is an area support weapon. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. Bs are the ultimate close support weapon. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

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The one item you need is always in short supply. When in doubt, empty your magazine. The side with the simplest uniforms wins. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.

When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism.

To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.

The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. Murphy was a grunt. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

The crucial round is a dud.

Every command which can be misunderstood, will be. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you. If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target. Odd objects attract fire — never lurk behind one.

The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy as is his deviousness and mischievousness. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.

The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. The seriousness of a wound in a fire-fight is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. If the enemy is in range so are you. Field experience is something you never get until just after you need it. All or any of the above combined. Posted by Tiki God January 10th, at 2: